Hi falldc,

You come across as very straight-forward in our interactions.
I don't perceive you as someone full of fear with people in general.

For all of us, our commitment to, our histories with, our spouses/partners is very different than other relationships. We are often willing to endure more because of our histories together, our sense of attachment to one another, our sense of security with one another, etc. It all runs very deep.

You are right, it was very hard to leave my fiancé then. Yet, that does not compare to a relationship like yours, in which you have been married over 30 years, have had children, have just built your dream home, etc.

Many women experience mid-life crises, too. In the least, they may feel like "It's my turn!" My turn to take care of ME! My turn to stop taking care of everyone else (even though I love them dearly)!

I'll admit, I am going through a bit of that now in my own life.
There's nothing wrong with needing that type of a shift anyway.
(I am close to your age.)

Just when many women are yearning for a shift in care-taking, sometimes, their partner needs more care-taking. It happens.

The idea of a "silent treatment" or being "shunned" in your own home, just hurts so much. I have had a few people act that way, but not in my home. It has to be almost unbearable.

Is it possible to approach your husband, at any point, when he is giving you the silent treatment? How do these episodes end? When does he start talking with you again? What happens if you initiate conversation?

Have you thought about meeting with your husband and his neurologist in order to see if something might be helpful?

I recall he was told he was depressed. Will he agree to treatment for depression?

I fully understand the sense of guilt you'd experience for asking for a separation, etc.

As for taking care of yourself, it seems like you have a good plan.

I want to invite you to visit the Traumatic Brain Injury and Post-Concussion forum here, if doing so interests you. You may find helpful information there in the "stickies" threads at the top of the forum. You are also very welcomed to post there anytime. (I am there, off and on. I am not the most knowledgeable person. In fact, I am just learning more about these issues, since a head trauma changed my life 2+ years ago. I was previously a very calm, very thoughtful person. I became very irritable, very impulsive, with severe mood swings. I have needed medication to help me with all of that. I could not read, compose sentences, talk well -- for several months. It has been a very scary experience. I am grateful I am doing better now and I remain hopeful for further recovery.)

No pressure from me to take a look at the forum, by the way. I just want you to know you are very welcomed there.

I truly feel your number one priority is in taking care of yourself, primarily, right now.

I am glad you have had a good day!
I hope you have a peaceful, restful night!


DejaVu