Hi DejaVu,
THank you for the invite to the group. I will definitely check it out.

Since I last wrote, a lot happened.

Yes I do approach him when he does the silent treatments now that he has the brain injury. I feel things are different and need to treat this different than I did in the past. I used to totally ignore it until he got tired of it and came around to me.
But he is not thinking right. So I approached him first.

We had a lot of discussion over the past few days. Lots of talk, tears and surprisingly with no yelling or stomping off. But we both put a lot on the table.

I told him that he is blaming his unhappiness on me, which is wrong and he actually said he can see that.
I brought up some instances where he made me feel terrible in front of others, and I was shocked to see him remorseful for the first time in a long time. But even more so.

We know we do not have things totally worked out. He will not take meds until he is retired because of his work. But he said he will see someone to talk with and discuss things with.
Not sure if he will follow up on it.

Divorce is not an option since I would feel guilty leaving him and would actually worry about him and if he was okay.

You are right about the "I want something for ME now" after taking care of kids etc and now at our age want some fun. I was the caretaker for both my aging parents. My mother had severe dementia. THe burden was on my shoulders out of the 5 siblings in our family. But I was happy and honored to take care of my parents, so no regrets there.

OUt of the blue this week, I met a man that struck up a conversation with me in a waiting room and I find out that he had brain trauma as well, but much worse than my husband. He is recovered and is doing great and very happy in his life. He still has some residual memory and cognitive problems but is dealing. We talked for two hours.

He said that he was at an all time low and that you can pull out of it. He said my husband needed Male Commraderie to get through this. Others that have the same issues.
He even gave me his email and name to give to my husband would meet or talk with him. I met his wife briefly as she came out of her apt and said she had a lot to deal with and it was not easy.
My husband was extremely touched when I told him about it and gave him the name and email and I hope he follows through.
This man was what I like to call an "earth angel" who has no idea that he is one. Just like you are DeJevu! My cyber "earth angel"

Right now I am not going to get my hopes up just because things are going well.
One day at a time. I see issues with my husband looming down the road already when we discuss retirement and what "his" dream is vs "mine"
But that is several years away.

I want him to enjoy the new home. I'm hoping he will find some joy in life.
I gave a few suggestions and hope he will try one or two.
I told him that he is not alone (the man I met told me to make sure my husband knows he has people working with him on this)
that me and our daughters are there for him.
He told me that he felt like he was in this little prison in his life.
THat made me sad. I can only imagine how depressed he must have been feeling.

Thanks again for listening and for all your suggestions. I will check out the latest links you just posted.

We had a lovely dinner out tonight before he went to work. Usually weekends are bad since we are both home. Send some positive vibes and thoughts.
And have a great weekend yourself!!