Songbird,

You mention your "Fiance". Any chance that might end? It seems most of your problem stems with him. Please do not marry him unless you resolve these problems FIRST. Either make up your mind IF this is going to work for you or not. If you hold down a full time job why would you continue with this?

I'll tell you something. I was married twice, for a total of 20 years. And I was never so miserable and unhappy. I had pain and limitations too but since I shed myself of those two men, I have not had the emotional roller coaster I did when I was married. Sure for some marriage works but for some it's just combining more misery with even more misery.