Hi Dejavu,

I thank you so much for your reply. I understand you are busy and once again appreciate your advice.

firstly with the police and court I really got no where they told me that there are issues there ( he was saying some strange things to them)but they told me its not there department than can only press charges ( this does not help us at all) when we went to court I had brought he hospital paper work for his surgery but never got a chance to say anything except to the domestic violence advocacy and she seems to think it is very much an issue related to his condition. the police said he needs to be seen by a doctor for mental health reasons to get out of the charge ( but he refused as there is nothing wrong with his mental state I am the crazy one) my dad suggested going to a psychologist for marriage counseling prior to court to show that he is trying to fix his behavior and I got so close. I found a counseller he called him and agreed we will do this the counselor was supposed to call back with an appointment but never did and so another dead end.
the court could not help they said we will be ok if we get counseling that was it.
I tired an intervention last year with his brother. his mum and dad live overseas have been since he was 20 years old he has a brother in another state and his younger one lived 5 min away. we spent all of our time with his brother but when things got crazy ( he called the police on me told them I was crazy) then blamed me for getting the police involved. we sat down with his brother and I told him you know whats been going on you need to tell him its not right and somethings wrong he will listen to you. The brother turned around and told me actually I don't think he has done anything wrong and stoping you from taking our son to school is the right thing to do. Therefore my husband believed his actions were justified by his brother agreeing. after that he becoming so irrational claiming I was suicidal threatening to call the school and tell them im crazy and scared etc and he did.. so I took our son and left. problem is I had to pull my son out of school as I had to move to my mums 45 min away from his school. I called his mum told her what happened she said she will talk to him so me and our son can come home. 2 days later she calls me and says I cant get in the middle of this. ( my husband accused her of betraying him and siding with me. after this I had applied for a rental used all my money to secure it ( had to pay 6months rent in advance because I have been a stay at home mum for 6years and no income. I was granted the property and moved me and my son got him into a new school and my son was doing so well. his parents came back end of year to get us back together but coped it from him and they ended up telling him to go to the hospital but they were so scared of him that they literally said it and ran off. ( he told me this) they went back overseas and out of site out of mind for them. He moved back with me after giving notice to our last realestate and started to act badly again walking around threatening violence but when I asked why he says (don't tell anyone that I could go to jail for that convinced it never happened) obviously after 4 days of hearing that and then him pushing me I called the police. since then hes been with his brother and suddenly me and my son have been treated amazingly well. But his brother not so much. until last week it got physical with his brother (punch up) and he has come back here. he said his brother attacked him. I don't believe but he is convinced he was attacked and told me he will never forgive his brother for this. I tried to be calm but he started blaming me for hisbrothers behavior and that I put these thoughts in his head. his brother kept telling him 'now I know what your wife meant' he told him you need to go to the hospital this isn't normal.... but now im worried. I am the only one left that's as far as family go they have abandoned him. if we don't talk he is fine he is a very hard worker hes like a work horse he means well but its not coming across and when there is a discussion it takes forever for him to make his point I cant wait 1 week to hear him say whats wrong. he expects me to sit down 8 yrs and talk day after day ( he told his brother forget work tomorrow we can talk all night) its just too hard and im not coping I need to give my time to my son he is only 6years old and needs help with school that is my job....

Also I took your advice and called the GP they were somewhat helpful she told me maybe it doesn't have to do with the aneurysm and its a mental health issue... she put on the system to see psychologist... I don't know how that is going to go down next time he goes in or how much care they are going to put in to breaking this news to him. if they don't care I know he wont take it seriously. I will try to see if I can see my own gp and maybe they can send a letter out to him or something more immediate. he had a referral for seizures but never went to get checked. I think maybe your right and I should call the crisis line and see what other options there could be for us.
I feel such pain for my husband to see him in this state of confusion. the registra during his last check up told him if you feel confused or if your spouse tells you your personality has changed to come back to the hospital. he said he feels fine and those are her issues...
but lately he has had trouble sleeping and a loud noise in his head he went to the GP and they sent him to an ear specialist, the ear specialist told him its not your ears so he told them about the aneurysm he said he will look at the files but once again came back not related?? I just don't understand why no one is sending him to get the assessment it shouldn't be this hard...
then one night he called me and told me I think I need to go to the hospital something happened last night and I felt very confused ( I don't know what happened) I told him maybe you should go just to make sure then he asked if he could come over to see us I said ok and he felt 'happy' here and all his confusion went away. So part of him knows somethings not right. but theres also a block there to seek help.

my apologies for such a long message I think I am partly venting my frustration at this situation. I just want us to be a family yet it is proving so difficult and not being pushed in the right directions by the health system. I have recently seen a scan of his brain from when diagnosed and he looks as though he has a golf ball in the front of the brain. why didn't the doctors take this more serious considering we had a young child at the time?? I feel so let down. And I don't have a whole lot of family support he was my rock

Once again I thank you for your response and kind words it has helped me feel not so alone. Reply whenever you can I don't want to cause you any stress
Thanks again