Since a little girl
I always wondered
what it would be like
to be a grown up

Then I wondered
what it would be like
being loved and wanted

Then I wondered
what did I do to my parents
that we would always be frightened

Then wondering what a mistake
marrying for all the wrong reasons

I wondered where was God
to have let such things happen
when we were kids

I wondered would I
be able to raise my four children
now five (my precious grandchild)

I wonder if my father ístvan soul
is at rest
I wonder if he hears me call his name
to protect his grandchildren
Something he never had a chance at

I wonder if persons here who share
ever thought that they would be where
they are in life

I wonder if God is pleased at my
Mothering

I wonder if my daughter will ever
be well enough to take care of Eva

I wonder if Corissa is serious about
going back to school and complete her
required course to get her diploma or
GED

I wonder if I will ever have my empty holes
filled

I wonder why life continues to be so
difficult
I know my God is moulding me to his liking

I am wondering if there will ever be a
special someone

I wonder if I will get over this
Doomed anxious despair feeling
I have in my core
and have to fight against with my might

I wonder if I made a difference in people's
lives
so many people that have passed through
my life in any capacity

I wonder if I will ever feel
I truly am a special person
and have love of me

I wonder if I have had
success in my message
Of our Lord

I wonder I my children
will one day sooner than later
Be as ONE again

I wondered all these things
as a child
as time has given me wisdom

I wonder if I could leave
and say
I love you
Me