I was so hoping that you would say he didn't have a temper...my father had one too and it was worse when he wasn't drinking. When you a young and have a father with a temper and a father who drinks, I think you become the out of control control freak. It is like the enemy is within the house and there has to be a lot of latent fear that may have never been dealt with.
Whatever you do know the problem has been them working as a team against little you....two against little you. how can a child have a chance? add to that being bipolar so how can an adult have a chance resolving all the issues.
Please be so kind and gentle to yourself and when you start trying to blame yourself just tell yourself what a sweet innocent you are and YOU WILL SURVIVE THEM. I AM SO GLAD YOU HAVE YOUR HUSBAND.
BOBBY