Hi Indigo,

Welcome to NeuroTalk!

Please make yourself at home on any of the many forums here.

Your condition sounds very painful and very frustrating.
The obstacles to finding adequate assistance and relief within health care systems can become very demoralizing, anger-provoking and saddening, all at the same time. After asking for help, repeatedly, we can get to where we feel hopeless.

I am not sure of how the system operates in New Zealand. If the health care professionals working with you prefer you are admitted to the hospital, I'd hope you'd be admitted to the hospital.

However, I run into the same issue here in the U.S. At times when my primary care doctor has wanted me admitted to the hospital (and he has admitting privileges), the hospital policies have over-ruled his own judgment.

My primary care doctor is allowed to prescribe pain meds, do pain management with me, without referral to the PM clinic. (I think maybe different states have some different regulations and some health care systems have their own policies; thus, PM is not handled in the same way across the U.S.)

Many times, those of us with very painful and chronic medical conditions, also need evaluation and treatment for depression and/or anxiety, as well. It's natural to feel depression and despair when in so much pain and without adequate relief.

Are you being treated for depression, as well as for pain?

A few options until you can see your doctor:

If you are feeling suicidal, please consider going again to your local E.R. I'd hope your need to get medical attention there again will help you to get the ongoing care at a level most helpful to you.

Please call upon friends and family and honestly tell them about your feelings.
If you live alone, ask someone to visit or to stay with you, or if possible, stay with them at their place.

Please call/contact a suicide or crisis hotline.

Indigo, please continue to reach out.

I've had some periods of ongoing excruciating pain, have been to the E.R. for assistance and have had to keep going back to the E.R. It was always very frustrating. I had two options: ask for more help (again) or give up. I am glad I had asked for more help.

Many health care systems are failing those of us with chronic pain and chronic illnesses. The shortcomings are on the part of the systems, not upon the health care workers trying to help us, and not upon us.

Please ask for more help with your pain and your depression.

Please take excellent care of yourself during this very trying time.
Stay safe.


DejaVu