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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
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Up again....hopefully not for long :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diandra
Dear Debi,
I am just about to go to bed and wanted you to know I am thinking of you.
You have been in my thoughts all day. And in my prayers.
D.
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D........so sweet....thank you and just what I needed when I opened this laptop.
Today I head to the SS Office with Christina. Hope to accomplish 3 things:
1. Changing my rep payee from my husband to daughter, Christina. I've been paying the bills all along. It may take me 1/2 the day but I've been doing it. I could try and change to just myself but I don't want to trigger a long form or anything like that. Will also ask that they start taking out taxes which is something I didn't do to begin with.
Then we'll need to stop by the bank and see what I need to do with that change plus his checking acct and our joint acct.
2. Widow's benefit or whatever it's called. Even though I made more than him the last few years he worked longer and made more in the overall scheme of things. May not be much difference in pay but he would want me to have it.
3. A one time death benefit from SS ?
The last thing I want to do right now is deal with money or bills. I know it has to be done but I feel guilty doing it. I should only be concentrating on his passing and not these real life things. Does that make any sense ?
I spent yesterday afternoon in the doctor's office with my mom. She scared the poo out of us yesterday. She only weights 81.5 lbs (as of yesterday had gained 2 lbs since last week !) On Monday night after visitation she had stumbled and fell against the tv set in her room. She does things like this quite often and because she is so small it takes a few days for her to get over it. She has such a high tolerance for pain it's unbelievable to me. Anyway....she asked that I come to her place after I got off the phone around noon yesterday and when I got over there she was shaking from head to toe. Teeth chattering cold. We called 911 and I was able to get her to quit shaking so bad by wrapping her up in a blanket. This on top of her keeping her house at a 'cool' 86 degrees ! She also had a portable heater on. When they checked her out her BP was fine, heart rate fine and no fever. Suggested I take her in to her dr. Called and they got her in at 2:20 pm.
Bless her heart she broke 2 ribs....the 6 and 8th. They are clean breaks and had not done any other damage.
All I can say is 'my cup runneth over'.
The neighbors across the street are going to take all the beautiful outdoor plants we received and make a memory garden for Bubba.
I guess you guys are becoming my diary. It makes me feel good to share all this with you. Like old friends sitting around a table talking for hours. Just feels right so thank you for letting me share this as I go through it.
Not going to the beach this weekend because of 2 things. My son is worried about what the trip would do to be physically. He knows riding seems to set my nerves off worse than normal and also it's a Holiday weekend. Not up to dealing with all the traffic. Then next weekend will be my grandson Evan's 15 Birthday on Sept 12th. This will be the first family event since losing Bubba and I have no idea how I'm going to do.
Hopefully the 3rd weekend from now me and Christina will head out on Friday after lunch for a quick trip to Panama City Beach.
I think we may wait until our family trip to Florida next year to spread his ashes. Seems the right thing to do since he loved that week of the year so much. And everyone will be there and not have to take special days off work or out of school.
It's so quiet without him here but I feel his presence. Real or imagined doesn't matter. He loved me and I will try my best of make him proud of the way I spend the rest of my life.
When I think of all the things he is going to miss it just overwhelmes me. Birthdays, graduations, marriages and births. I will have to manage these all alone as a grandparent.
I know it was his time and when I think of all the things he would have had to endure had he stayed I feel blessed that God saw fit to take him now and not let him suffer anymore. God allowed us the time to say the things we needed to say to each other and I am so thankful for that. Not everyone gets that chance. These things were not said with his passing in mind, just the thought they we had found each other again and how we were going to spend the rest of our lives enjoying each other everyday and supporting and loving each other for years to come.
Thanks for listening.
Debi
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