Debi, my sleep pattern is all messed up, too. I tend to wake up every 2 hours.......no reason other than my body is just used to it and I usually need to visit the restroom.
Since I can nap if I need to I just go with it....no reason to get all stressed about it.
I'm so glad to hear you had some good times. I miss going out to eat. My hubby loved to go out and eat and at that time I was able to go.....wasn't diagnosed with MS until after he passed. I guess God is watching out for me because I would probably gain way too much weight if I ate now like I did then!
Picking up his ashes and Urn is something very personal and however you felt or reacted is just right for YOU. Grief is such a personal thing and everyone goes through their own journey with it. Nothing is right or wrong......whatever works for you is what you should do. And please give yourself time.
I hope your pain is at a more tolerable level today. You're in my thoughts and prayers.