Quote:
Originally Posted by St George 2013
This is the 2nd time I've been up tonight. The first was about 1:30 and I was in AGONY. I can't remember the last time my pain was that bad. I actually called Christina and she and Jonathan walked up here (dragging poor Lane with them who had been asleep). Not sure why I called her other than I didn't want to be alone with my pain and the tears that Bubba wasn't here to comfort me and offer to get up and get my meds and a cold ice pack.
I took a pain pill and a 1/4 of another (something I've started doing when the pain level is high) and then sat at my dining room table and basically rocked back and forth until the pain slowed a bit. I was still moaning when I laid back down and asked God and Bubba to please let me sleep and get away from the pain. Thankfully I feel asleep quickly with sweet Lane asleep by my side.
Remember I washed the dogs and cleaned the tub ?
Break-----my mom woke up and came walking in here wanting to know if we'd eaten breakfast yet....lol....God Bless her I don't even eat breakfast. Finally got her back to bed. Thinking her pain probably woke her but she didn't complain about it.
Ok...the dogs and tub.......the reason the tub had not been cleaned is because it always sets off my hands and feet and then I hurt.....bad.....which is what happened. So going forward I will go back to washing the dogs in the kitchen sink and asking someone to do the tub. Shoot Luke and Jonathan are both strong young men, 35 and 32, and should be quite easy for them to do in less than 5 minutes.
I'm good now. Pain is about a 4 which I can deal with.
I did go to dinner with Christina, Evan and Lane. We went to Red Lobster and I ate WAY too much......before we left the restaurant I started feeling guilty for even going......that feeling just grew until I was in tears.......both Luke and Christina said I 'couldn't go there' and that Bubba would want me to go out when I could. I know that but it still didn't make me feel any better. Bubba was not big on going out to dinner. Of course if you asked him to go to the Golden Corral he was the first person in the car ! But normally we would stop by Long John Silver's on the way home and get him a plate. I would come in and he'd be laying across the bed on his stomach. His favorite position for years due to lower back pain. I would get him something to drink, ketchup and a fork and napkin and take to him on the bed. I never could understand how that man would eat laying on his stomach  He didn't ask me to do that for him I just did because I wanted to.
Think I'll read a few new posts and try to go back to sleep. I probably need to set the clock and get up and take another pain pill later this morning so I don't end up in the same shape I was earlier.
So goodnight friends......for what's left of it anyway.
Debi from Georgia
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Debi,
Glad to learn you went out and had a nice dinner. It will, for some time, continue to remind you of times Bubba would have been there; or even some times feeling guilty for enjoying the little things. That's Okay.....you wouldn't want it any differently for him if things were reversed.
I recall getting tearful at the grocery store passing up a special toothpaste that I no longer needed to buy. Things just creep in at the oddest times. These are fond loving memories.
Just a little FYI:
I set my alarm for 6:30 a.m.every morning so I don't let my pain get out of control. Better to get ahead of it; otherwise it gets out of hand and as you know, much more difficult to get to a tolerable level.
Please be careful not to overdo too much.
Gerry