Hi DejaVu, thank you for your strength and support. I shouldn't use the word stupid, what I should have said is it is frustrating and driving me lower and lower. I suffered PTSD after my MVA, I am now a destination person, I only go out if I absolutely have to. Getting back to work was a step forward but lately even that is becoming a bigger challenge by the day. I can't put my finger on the "why" it just is. I used to love to go outside and go for drives, now loud noises fill me with fear and I no longer enjoy the outdoors. I even struggle sometimes to answer the phone and talk to people in fear they will want me to go somewhere. I have looked at and considered agoraphobia and am very aware I could end up a sufferer unless I can address it now. I'm hoping the meetings for DB will lead me a pathway where I can find more energy and encouragement to deal with it now. There is no time like the present. I'm seeing my PM within the next month to deal with the severe pain flare ups and have a referral to a new psych. So much to do and so little energy. Pain mgt is all consuming when it is not under control. I'm also having more blood tests, I have regular vitamin B12 injections but I might be lacking in iron? Just tired, so very tired all the jolly time and fed up with feeling this way. I used to be energetic even when in pain but now zero. I will get through this, I'm determined to be a better me and see in this Xmas without a hospital stint!
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Originally Posted by DejaVu
Hi PamelaJune,
Glad your husband has been seen by his GP.
I have always found it exciting/hopeful when family members have made a commitment to face alcoholism, detox and commit to a treatment program.
Sometimes, the same family member was making his/her 4th decision to follow through, and I still found their resolve exciting and hopeful. I feel it can sometimes (probably often) takes more than one attempt at detox and treatment.
It seems there are often subsets of clients whom are not serious about detox and/or treatment and are sneaking in drugs and/or drinking when out on privileges, etc. This can feel discouraging to those with a serious commitment, as the various "games played" often also take from the program for those there meaning business.
I hope your husband's healing, on all levels, will go well.
I have been to many Alanon, Adult Children of Alcoholics and public AA meetings. As I have mentioned, many people in my family have suffered/do suffer from alcoholism. I have always found benefits to attending these meetings.
I hope you will also benefit from the meetings you will be attending. 
Is the anxiety about going out alone a new anxiety?
It's truly not "stupid," by the way. Maybe feels stupid to you though?
I have watched a friend of mine become agoraphobic just since her husband has passed on. In her case, the anxiety was based on old issues, again resurfacing in her life. There is often a very good reason for these types of anxieties. 
Be ultra-kind to yourself (self-compassion) about this, about everything.
You and your husband are in my daily thoughts and prayers.
Offering support, Love and Prayers,
DejaVu |