Hi Dancinglady,
I have had chronic pain for 30+ years now.
I have needed to stay on morphine for the past 13 years, due to the severity of pain. I am not in favor of continuing to increase my pain med dose, and morphine does not work well on all types of pain. Thus, despite the morphine, I am often in some degree of pain. (I am sure it would be worse without the morphine.)
Pain has stopped me from participating in sports/athletic activities. Pain has also stopped me from going some places, attending some events, and has stopped me from traveling as much as I would have otherwise.
However, pain has never stolen the core attributes of my identity.
I have learned to love more deeply. I have learned deep compassion. I have learned to accept "the human condition" and have realized how fragile life can be.
I was at the local teaching hospital this past week while my husband was having an emergent procedure. I was in pain, as we had been to the ER for several hours the night before and we had to report to outpatient surgery early in the morning. My pain gets worse when I lose sleep, when there is stress, when I have to walk more/further, etc.
I was there, concerned about my husband, and in significant pain myself.
Yet, several people had approached and were telling me their stories, explaining their own medical situations in detail. My pain became simple "background noise" as I had listened and had focused upon the stories of fellow human beings. These people were going through situations we'd all consider a form of "hell," yet, their eyes, their auras were all light and joy-- deep inner peace.
I had asked them about their attitudes. They had told me they were basically "happy go lucky" people prior to the onsets of their tragic medical conditions and plan to remain as joyful and as peaceful as possible through to the end of their terminal illnesses. Each of them had made firm and conscious decisions to override the pain and any fear as much as possible.
Despite the pain and any fear associated with pain and/or illness, I feel we can decide to be our best selves, despite any limitations placed upon us by chronic pain. I fully believe we can decide to learn to transcend pain enough to continue to grow our most cherished attributes.
As Littlepaw had written (and I adore Littlepaw's posts), "Don't relinquish your power."
We may have to give up some things due to chronic pain. We are much more than our pain and much more than our physical vehicles. Pain cannot make our hearts and souls relinquish a thing. We can use pain to strengthen the core of our Beings. We can use our experience with pain to expand our love, our compassion, our sense of joy and our sense of inner peace.
DejaVu