You have some options here. Hard ones yes, but you do have options. The guilt is what's eating you up. You don't really like having your daughter live there. That's what is destroying your health. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about.

What are your options?? You either give the baby to the father (for a short time) until your daughter gets her act together.

Now the second option isn't pretty. You evict your daughter. The mere fact that she had a man in her bed while living in your house (well that would do it for me) but the fact that the baby saw this, well, it's a no-brainer. This is called tough love. It's tough and it's love.

Alan and I used to go to Tough Love meetings every single week for years. You hear lots of things and you learn not to enable. It's very hard on parents but if the kids are ever to grow up and assume responsibility, well, if they never learn to do this, they never do it.!!!! Simple as that.

Is this easy??? Of course not!!! Is this necessary??? If you want to maintain your sanity, well, you have to find a way to make SOMETHING happen. Your daughter is not going to just get up and move out. She has it good, why should she, you take care of her child. She's learned she can do this and you'll take over.

Please don't think I'm trying to hurt you or be mean, but when you've been to as many support groups and tough love meetings as I have, well, you learn lots of stuff and lots of coping mechanisms.

You need to concentrate on your health. Stress is a killer.

Reminds me of when my girlfriend Barbara did a favor for her daughter-in-law's brother. He had a baby with a girlfriend and the girl's mother would not let him move in with the girl and her baby. He was an ex-con.

So what did my friend do?? She let him live in her mom's basement. He promised he would fix it up, he did have a job and he did pay her $300 a month. She felt sorry for him. What did he do??? He sneaked in her kitchen one day, jimmied the back door and went up to her bedroom and robbed her.

She went crazy. She thought she was doing a good thing but it backfired.

We, as parents, want to do the right thing by our children, but when it involves our own well-being, well sometimes we have to put ourselves first.

I have learned to do this. So has Alan. And hopefully, so will you!!!!

We all have our circumstances. But, if the baby's daddy is a good guy, maybe your daughter needs to learn a lesson here.

I am most certainly not trying to be intrusive or butt in. But since you did post and you need help, and I'VE LIVED THIS, BELIEVE ME, I'VE LIVED THIS, we have to help each other out here.

At least consider some options and get yourself some stress free space.

Sincerely,
Melody