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Originally Posted by PamelaJune
DB experiencing panic attacks and mental exhaustion. Sleeps deeply and struggling to concentrate. Has bouts of anger over nothing, then feels anxious and sad. This coming months isolation is looming and he is frightened he won't cope, even though he knows the group of people he will be there with it is still daunting. Think he is afraid he won't like the person he will become and that's fearful when he already doesn't like the person he is. Lots of old stuff coming up, things he has never dared face. My heart breaks for him, this coming 4 weeks will be our first ever in 25 years with no contact at all, I'm frightened too.
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Oh Pam...what a terrifying situation for both of you.
One thing that popped into my head when you said he may be fearful of the man he will become....can you put together a shoebox or album of hardcopy photographs from early on in your relationship or marriage, say the first few years, for him to take with him? I think that is a time in a marriage when everything is new and sweet and loving. Perhaps it will be a reminder of the good times and the good man he was then and maybe he can return to that man? If nothing else, they will be positive beautiful memories to get him through. Also, when my husband and I have been apart for a stretch, we hide notes, cards, letters, trinkets, in each other's socks, shoe, jean pockets, toiletry bag, etc. It really makes one feel loved and thought of. Note sure you can do that at rehab though.
Also, the communication hiatus may be emotionally difficult but, I think it will make him stronger as he will learn to deal with his issues minus alcohol and minus you. Think of that strong man who will be coming back to you. What he has been through all ready is just amazing. They will have docs and psych help and he will be well cared for.
Pam, maybe use the time to focus on yourself. You have had so much going on with your Mom and hubby and your job and health issues. It will be like a gift to have time just for you. And a month to deal with the new anxiety that has become an issue when going outside.. Maybe the full court press of stress these past months have taken their toll on you....Lessing the stress with your husband and Mom away may be just the break you need to deal with your own issues.
Well, I'm getting droopy, it is 3:20am and my Ambien is finally kicking in.
Sorry if my post is a bit rambling.
Just want to say I think you are both way stronger than you think, and you will
fare well through the 4 weeks.
I will be cheering for both of you.
Love, D.