Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeless
Oops, I guess I should not make this post as I do not want to offend you, Melody.
You BOTH have valid points. You do need to get some acknowledgement from Alan for all you do. I do appreciate the fact that the colder temps make you miserable and that the warmer temps are more comfortable with your arthritis.
I happen to be like Alan,.... I need the temps LOW. I am absolutely miserable if the temp goes up even the slightest amount. I can't sleep, can't breath, and I get very irritable when I am not cool.
I have gone through the battle of the thermostat when I lived with another person. Similar situation, the other wanted it warm and I wanted it cold.
My poor argument was they could add more clothing, put on a sweater, robe, jacket, etc. I could not take off any more clothing, I was almost in my birthday suit as it was.
No, I am not taking Alan's side here. I am just saying I understand how he feels but also how you feel so unappreciated.
Hope you can forgive him and start talking again QUICKLY !!! It is good that you expressed your feelings. Just don't hold a grudge. It will only make YOU feel bad.
When Alan requested you go into another room, I would have responded, NO, YOU go in another room.
Oh, and remember you came in from the outdoor heat, so you probably felt the colder temps even MORE than if you had not been outside first.
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Hi.
First of all i have to clarify a bit. this has nothing to do with breathing , wearing more clothes. this had to do with entitlement issues. he thinks he is right. he really does. he thinks my job is to take care of him and do everything because he has neuropathy. this is a man who doesnt believe in Valentine's Day, or any gift giving occasion. i found this out many years ago when my birthday was coming up. someone wished me an early Happy Birthday. and he realized my birthday was coming up and he actually groaned and said OMG , now i have to buy you a gift? This is a testament to a mans character when he feels like that.
I immediately knew exactly what I was dealing with. he has not changed, he will never change. i belive he has Aspergers. he has all the traits.
this means my feelings dont matter. as long as he is taken care of, is fed. etc. etc. Because any man who can say that to a woman needs a good swift kick. his sister COMPLETELY agrees with me. thats why i dont do laundry any more, i send it out. makes a big difference in my life. so alan at 68 will never get thst lightbulb moment thst WOW MY WIFE TAKES SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME"'' oh he will say thank you and such. Honestly, it means nothing any more. and yes, i am in therapy and this has showed me what i can and cannot expect from him.
Not an easy life. But i am up to the task.
I just had to clear up certain things. we lived around the corner for 23 years with no Air cond. only in the bedroom. imagine that.
but lets go back to his health and change my venting. he is still taking his antibiotic, takimg a cranberry pill. i am not giving him colloidal silver until he finishes the antibiotic and hopefully his hospital visits are over. we still have the urologist. the podiatrist and god only knows what else coming up next week.
and i have to go with him because we use ambulette service and his trips are all exhausted and i use whatever trips i have left. this saves us $24.00 Round trip. we just say its my appt.
Do you think a man who doesnt believe in buying his wife a present is going to pay for car service??
so far so good. oh he gets his new custom molded shoes and orthotics in a few weeks
melody