here i go once again
a phone call from my sister
opens up conversation with me
and asks if either one of my children
have begun restitution
the next thing
i'm asked if she could purchase a
computer for my nephew a college
Rutgers freshman student
i agreed as the arrangement
is it will be paid in two installments
a sister very close to six figures
don't have to explain that
the point
purchase made
laptop delivered
laptop that is now compatible
with what's required
for school

i then see on my eldest and hubby
painting their beautiful apartment
a beautiful place
french doors hardwood floors
everybody happy
now i DO NOT GO ANYWHERE NEAR FACEBOOK
it was brought to my attention
that i found out the finally have their own place after
staying with her mother-in-law
for over two years

i am furious my sister needed my password
to download the program for the laptop
i told her
Saraeve was the one to set up the account
i didn't have it
she skipped out on a bill almost two and a half grand
after her last Christmas purchase
remember estranged and stiffed
because
in February i ask how or why did she leave
the mess she left after her "Skyline session"
and how the damage to the floor was enough
they
her and her husband were the last to leave
why did i become the bad guy in this all
AGAIN
how much more could i have done
i offered her my apartment to have her
poetry featuring a poet each month
what the fudge
are you kidding
her and hubby
capable of painting
and where did i get the help
STILL needed
more now then ever
how is it that a child
i mean
a child of mine
cannot see
and they can't
as it is not visible to the eye
my job GONE FOREVER
my insurance GONE FOREVER
my benefits for life
after fifteen years OF service
PUT IN SEVEN AND A HALF YEARS
IN ALREADY
GONE FOREVER
oh i'm so angry
and a sister who is the same as we were kids
only we are adults now
i of all have the least in financial trouble
ALWAYS in excellent standing with my
plastic cards
just cut up the JCPenny card
PAID OFF my sons couch
and am slowly paying what's left
i can no longer make double payments
they let a quarter of a million dollar life
insurance laps in payment
asked them to never let the payments to laps
and if i should ever need any help
to do so
a quarterly charge of $156.00 divided in three
really
TERMINATED after 18 years of putting into it
so there could be something left for them
WHY
WHY
Why hurt the one who has had
her back even now
i was open at what i thought was not a nice
thing to leave for her sister to take care of
who she knows is lazier then her
when it comes to clean up
never in my life
i am struggling
am asked for help again
and my daughter wouldn't now give
my sister the pass word
really
really
now that has successfully been changed
i'm so upset
me