FnO
You have a ton on your plate, and with stress, dealing with morning your own life, hating this one dumped on you is very difficult. Often and always too difficult to deal with alone. But, who helps, who has the answers, what helps. Sometimes a dose of everything. grief counseling tells you that you go through stages, can even get stuck in stages....I hurts, the pain, emotional , physical, and life.

I had been dealing with myh duaghters TOS when she was only a child, 16 years old....I thought it was about when the cure would happen when they figured out what was wrong with her. I had diffculty coping, and then had my Dad diagx wioth Nstage cancer, took care of him, my car accident that I developed herniations, lumbar and cervical along with TOS and fybromyalgia. My Mom;s cardiac problems. My son's TOS injury his diagx with tumors in his brain on the pituatary gland, his marriage and new born, the second son;s heart problems....all the while ny older daughter was mentally deteriorating.

And Mom could'nt cure anyone....

I did see a wonderful psychiritrist, his speciality was working with chronic painpatients and helping rediscover their self, reinventing a person with limatations, that learned how to accomadate and medicate, and mediatate.

In bio feed back, venting and making a plan I heal.....to a point I am thankful for my life.

One thing I did learn with my daughter was, she could accept, even in her young life, how to accomadate. Use a scooter when we went to parks, a wheelchair at fairs and Malls. Allowed me to cut her meat, pour the 2 liter bottle of soda, not to lift anyuthingheavier then her cats.

She cherised her nephew, she had sibling fights with younger 11 year old sister, loved to get in the car and head to to local movie or swim when she could.

It was difficult with her though too. She hated being "F'd up." she never had a chance to enjoy being healthy. Her engagement broke up, never married nor had children; life everyday was about managing the pain.


I think I put a lot of weight on; if my daughter had better mental health care, AND had a intrathecal pain pump in the spine, instead of all the medications messing her liver, making diabeteas at times, psych meds saying they would help nerve pain making her too groggy....

But, I couldn;t fix it, the medical people couldn't fix it, the psych's didn;t fix it....
It would have and should have been a group effort!!! No one should have to do this alone and fly by the seat of their pants putting all the chips in a bag on medicaitons or surgery. It is what it is. A game plan is needed. A back up plan, family supoport!!!!!! understanding the Physiology, and how to help family accomadate and live with chronic pain.

The mental attitude should be one of feeling the best you can that day, do things in bits, rest, finding the right meds, doc's and emotional support.

I went back to school part time, even if I can never work full time with my degree, I still have something no one can ever take away. I work 2-3 days a week for about 4 hour evenings.

We are allowed to vent, whine and cry, but as one gal said once, don;t waste more then 20 minutes a day on it.

Try to find an activity you enjoy, can do, and will make you happy. Take a picture of birds in the yard and identify them. Sit in the yard and watch feeders. One day maybe walk to the end of the yard and back, deep breath, from the low tummy, not the chest for at least ten minutes.

Write an editorial about something, maybe living with RSD and the looks you get having an invisable disablity for your local paper...it will educate and inform many!

DON:T GIVE UP, there istoomuch in life everyday to stop and smell the roses a minute, even just watching your family.

The gang here has always been my support, my dearest friends, and vast of information shared.

Sorry for my typos and spelling too....
Take a breath and gather up some cyber hugs.
Dianne