My pdoc is pretty blunt. When she explained Wednesday that I was going to have to accept some level of sedation at times, she reminded me that our treatment goals remain the same 1) keep me alive and 2) keep me out of the hospital. Your treatment goals are probably different than mine. Every time I escalate it scares the (expletive) out of me, and I have ample reason. You know enough.
With your support I thought I was finally making progress last week and was going to attain something beyond those goals, even if it meant I would be adjusting meds and living in the gray area at times. I thought Gabapentin was the silver bullet and I was finally evening out...
Enter agitated mania again, where the symptoms are obvious. I'm in a unique position. I have to endure it, but only for as long as it takes to get enough med in me to quiet it. But even
that is too long to wait. If you haven't experienced it, I don't expect you to understand what an hour of it feels like. There is no fine line
there like there is with typical mania and hypomania- at least not for me. And it doesn't take long to get there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mari
I hope that the constant adjusting and monitoring settles down for you.
That level of having to be alert really would be tiring. 
Re being snowed: I am guessing that you avoid that as much as possible. What do you do to pass the time/ make things tolerable when you are "snowed."
M |
Self-assessment is stressful when it comes to milder symptoms, but it will be easier now that the new plan is to stop second guessing myself and just medicate. There
will come a time when things settle down and I stop escalating. Medicating will be probably be a lot easier then no matter what the plan is. In the meantime, I am still dosing at 50mg at a time to try to avoid Seroquel sedation.
When I was taking 300mg of Gabapentin, I started taking it 3hrs before bed to avoid the am sedative effect. However, last night I took 600mg right before bed and woke up slightly sedated, but
not manic. Today is a better day. I only had to take 100mg Seroquel prn. I am going to continue to take Gabapentin in this way until things quiet down more.
I spent 7-8yrs snowed on heavy meds and time went by quickly. I watched a lot of TV and did a little bit of this or that in between. And that became acceptable. I expect I'll be doing the same again, but it will be a heavier level of sedation with Seroquel. At least it won't be an everyday occurrence.