Thank you so much Steve. You have been through so much pain.

Last week I was watching a program about the 1990's on the National Geographic Channel and they did a segment about how everyone in America was on Prozac and mental health conditions were no longer Taboo... of course I let out a laugh.
There has been a great deal of "mental health awareness" over the past 20 years. I'm always hearing about it. But somehow the stigma remains. The stigma regarding s/s is worse. I'll wear long sleeves for the rest of my life, but I can't hide the scar on my neck. Thankfully, not too many people check other people's necks. But the people who notice know what it is. When I go out I try to pretend it's not there.

My whole family knows what happened in December, but only my husband and sister know about my last hospitalization. I don't want my mental illness to become the only part of me that they recognize. They're patronizing enough. I don't want to be constantly treated as a broken person.

It's no secret that I worry a lot about drugs and dosages. I can afford Seroquel. It's a good drug to treat mania, psychosis, and anxiety. I can also afford it. I had to take the max dose Wednesday before my pdoc upped the Gabapentin. I freaked out. Thankfully my Seroquel dosages have gone way down since the Gabapentin went up, but if I max out on Seroquel will I be able to afford the next drug?
It's no wonder people stop taking their medications. The costs are so high and many people are without the tools or resources to find financial assistance. And the new wonder drugs are usually so expensive that they are out of reach for many of the people who need them the most. It takes years before the generics are available, and even then they may be extremely expensive (ie/ Abilify).

Thank you for throwing me a life line, Steve. I've been feeling like I've been living on an island.