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Old 09-13-2015, 01:46 AM
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
10 yr Member
St George 2013 St George 2013 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
10 yr Member
Default Can't sleep .... again

These last 2 days have been brutal. So many tears.....I think the numbness has worn off. Maybe I want it back.

Social Security office Fri morning:
We were the first ones in line. I was so hoping to get the lady I've had the last 2 times and I did ! She is such a sweet person and was so helpful. We made Christina my representative payee.

For clarification I did ask her if I had to have a representative payee. (The first visit with her after I was approved for disability she asked me if I thought I needed to have one and I said yes and she put my husband down who was will me at the appointment.)
She said no I was not required to have one (some people are) but she likes to ask everyone. She says people should have a choice even if they are not required to have one. She said I can call at any time and they will take Christina off as my rep payee. But honestly after going through all this paperwork I feel better having Christina on there. I've added her to my joint account and am going to add her to my savings acct.

I'm of the opinion now that no one should have any type of acct without the name of someone else on it.....someone you can trust.

Even when Bubba was on my SS account I paid all the bills. And will continue to do so. But if something happens to me then Christina can pay the bills for me.

Then Sat morning we went to the bank. The lady we deal with there saw Bubba every week as he went through the drive thru. Even if she was at her desk as soon as she heard his voice she would go to the window. She said he never came through without a smile on his face and happy words to all of them. This lady has also known us for years.
So the three of us sat at her desk....me, Christina and Tammy, and cried and changed the accounts. I was told to begin with that I would have to have new accounts set up.....Thank goodness that was not true. I was dreading that as you all would know what that entails...especially with drafts coming out.
They closed at noon and she stayed with us until 1:00.
Came home and laid down until I had to get up and ready for Evan's 15th birthday party.
It was at his other grandparents cabin/pond and such a beautiful place. They live on a country road and then about 1/2 mile down is a dirt road that Evan lives on......the property runs from one road to the other and they have made a road through the property so they can drive to each others place or walk. So beautiful and quiet going through the woods. They had a fire pit set up and lots of seating. It was just the immediate family on both sides. Luke and Evan's mom are divorced but so thankful we can all be together when needed for parties and especially the passing of Bubba.

Christy (Evan's mom) sent me a beautiful text yesterday. Here is what she said:

15 years ago today! Can you believe it ? Just wanted to tell you thank you for being so good to me thru the pregnancy and loving Evan so much. He has been so blessed with good grandparents even when his parents were crazy. LOL. When I went in to see Bubba alone on Friday night @Hospice, I told him thank you for loving Evan so well and all of the time and love he gave him and for being so good to me over the years. He said "you're welcome. That's my boy". Then Evan came in and we all hugged. I'm so glad I got to tell him that. Evan wouldn't be 1/2 of the person he is if he hadn't had y'all helping raise him. Love you !


And the tears flowed. So thankful she is Evan's mom and such a wonderful mom and person. She's always been here for us even when her and Luke were not getting along at ALL.

I cried when Luke and I left the party......I was sad that Bubba wasn't there and Luke said "mom....he was there".....such powerful words.

Now I have to get through going to see the people in HR where my husband worked. My son in law will be taking me on Monday afternoon. He also works for the City when bubba worked.

My husband was the maintenance supervisor at a waste water treatment plant for the next city over from us. I'm going to see if they will let us plant a tree in his honor and call it "Duck's Tree" which is what the guys at work called him. We still haven't gone and cleaned his office out. I cannot do it. Hoping Christina and Luke can go one day at lunch and do it. Christina had many lunches with her dad at his desk. Good memories.

I was exhausted when I got home. Didn't realize just how tired I was until I sat at the dining room table. Lane has spend the night with me for 2 nights. Sweet boy all curled up on Bubba's side of the bed. He's 10 but when he was younger he would run in the bedroom with Bubba and get on my side and either fake sleep or actually go to sleep...lol.....I would sleep on the couch ! He thought that was soooo funny. But Bubba loved it. If he happened to fall asleep on the couch you could be sure when he woke up during the night he was coming in the bed with us....right smack in the middle.

My mom is doing ok.....still in a lot of pain but she keeps on going...like the energize bunny.......she's adamant that she is going to wash my dishes and wash the clothes....something she has done for years. She says that is her job. I can get her to sit down after I give her the pain meds because I tell her they will work better if she'll rest about 45 minutes. Most of the time she dozes off and I let her sleep until she wakes up. She's eating good and home health came and signed her up on Friday. She was NONE too happy about that I can tell you. She wanted to know WHO sent them to her house. The doctor we kept telling her and because she puts all faith in a doctor she said ok even though she doesn't want people in her house 2 times a week....lol.....PT and and RN visit each week. They are also going to replace her scale with a new one so they can weigh her every week.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the messages. Such heartfelt caring and love I feel every time I read a post.

I miss my Bubba so much....so much.

Debi from Georgia

ps....I'm 45 minutes south of Atlanta. About 20 minutes from the Alabama line....we're talking about renting a place in North GA for Thanksgiving as no one wants to be here during that time. Chicken and dressin' in the mountains......WOW is all I can say.
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