such deep dark pain
i no long can describe
burning awake tearing me apart
in my core
lays evil

the tears that come come from
hell
no way can this feeling emanate from God
this is not a welcome feeling

grows in size never
ever worried how much of me it takes
weird to talk about something
that is going on with me
and only i have control of me
and i haven't had the strength
to fight it off
at that point
submitting to it and
just cry for a an hour
and am floored at how many tears i cry
enough to be dehydrated
this i'm sure of
the intense pain of sorrow
as they just flow
where is it all coming from
why can't i be happy
i am responsible for my own happiness
it is not anybody who has me in this state
it be what i allowed and the rest ready to follow
and the end results are always
i don't want to go on anymore
how does one move forward when
the company that comes to visit
and finds a solid place in my being
this is my struggle
it is my daily struggle
and it is not letting up
why can't happiness be a feeling that
that comes in many forms
it is something nobody can do
but myself
for myself
a fix myself

i don't want to hurt
i really don't
take me out

love
me