All your words are beautiful my sweet friends and I do appreciate them. I will read these posts over and over because they do bring me comfort.

I went to bed last night after my post and slept 10 hours. I have been sleeping much better since using my CPAP again after his passing. He would only sleep an hour or so at a time and I was continously taking it on and off so I quit using it. Guess it's going to be one of my best friends now....lol.....maybe I should give my CPAP a cute little name

Last night was just pure, raw emotion I was pouring out to y'all. I didn't feel any better that I had written it down but I knew it would be out there forever in internet land and that did feel good when I thought about it this morning.

I know in my heart and soul that the good Lord takes us when he is ready. I know he is in a better place. The beautiful place we all want to go to when our time comes.

I was upset that I was out in front of the Hospice building when he passed. I was crying and hugging him and telling him how sorry I was that I wasn't there with him. The Hospice nurse looked at me and said "all of u were exactly where u were suppose to be when the Lord took him".....powerful words as Luke was beside him holding his hand as he passed. I had previously been alone with Bubba and said all the things I wanted him to know. Luke came in and asked if he could be alone with his dad. That's why I was out front. Luke swears Bubba nodded his head after Luke finished talking to him. I told him he did. Bubba wanted Luke to know he heard him. Luke had been there for me while Bubba was sick but did very little with his dad and will have to carry that with him for the rest of his life. But I think the nod from Bubba was telling Luke it's ok. Luke has told me he didn't think his dad would not have passed on if I had been in the room. He needed Luke's assurance that he would take care of me.

I'm sitting here looking at 20 - 20 0z diet cokes in bottles that I ordered from a fund raiser before he passed because it was his favorite drink. I just received them a few days ago. I guess things like this will continue to pop up here and there.

I still have so much to do but as I do one thing at a time I do feel like I accommplished something instead of nothing.

Good news ! My mom is up to 84 lbs.....she was 81.8 on Sept 3rd. She is doing better since everything has calmed down. She ate a whole bacon, egg and cheese sandwich last night. Christina will be cooking chicken and some type of veg's tonight and she will like that. Tomorrow she has beef stew on the menu with good ole cornbread and sweet tea (made with splenda for us and sugar for mom and Luke).

Thank u all for letting me spend time here with u. I still feel like we are all old friends sitting around a huge dining room table talking and laughing...and crying at times. Hugging each other as we leave to go on our way.

Group hug everybody !

Debi