Quote:
Originally Posted by katmae
I know I may not have the problems that you have but I do understand how your friends and family will feel if you do what you plan to do you think they would be glad and happy if you were gone but you could not be more wrong it will only make things harder then they are now they will wonder the rest of their lives what more they could have said or done to make you feel better you have a lot of people that care about you  |
and for these reasons i will not take my life
i walk in circles
wondering to myself
How great was his pain
when my father
dressed as he were off to church
i had left the home at that point
this is not easy to tell
parked his car around the home my parents bought
from that spot, location
he can clearly see the kitchen windows
as i have returned to the spot many times
and just stood there
and tried to imagine what he must have
been feeling
how inebriated was he
what did he ingest before
he took himself out
why was he reaching out for me
WHY DID HE DO IT
HOW COULD HE DO THIS
AND LEAVE US BEHIND
lucky we are
hum i wonder
that he did not take us out first
and then take himself out
why
did he
do it
as my children know the horrific story
they all too tried to kill themselves at least once
are we cursed
is our wiring so fudged up
we don't have a chance
depression
prevalent in my entire family
my son called me
bi-polar and has been on meds
for quite some time now
having switched jobs
doing the same
was assisted how to obtain his $800.00
for just one of the meds here in the USA
what a fudging shame
so we believe
the richest country in the world
and he has no chance of help for
medicines to keep him safe
first to himself
and then to others
MENTAL HEALTH
SOOOOOOOOOO MISUNDERSTOOD
a doctor today to be there FOR the
patient first
taking an oath
to the nurses out there
who nursed me while in this way
i want to say thank you
for honoring your position
they are the true healers
i do not trust doctors
i have experienced so much
in my lifetime in hospitals
and doctors offices
to see what works
i cry e v e r y s i n g l e
morning in my pain and depression
pain is just so great my mind says
there is only one way to rid of this all
a n d i c a n ' t
i LOVE my family that much
i will go through whatever
comes my way
yet i would be a lie to say
i don't think about ending "it"
evil will have prevailed
i love my family
i love my dog
i don't want them to
wonder like i do
like Jesus Christ
i shall carry my own cross
i get you
i truly do
love
me