I am sorry for your loss and your ongoing struggle to keep your other son alive. All I can say is from a person who wishes she was dead. Sometimes life is just too hard for us and this is the only way. Your son may have come to that conclusion. Just know he is now in a better place for him. Yes some people say suicide is selfish but like me I have no in person people to be worried about after my death. I know all of you are here supporting me on cyberspace but when I am going thru all of the painful tests there is no one there to drive to hold my hand to give me a hug to give me a shoulder to cry on. I lay in bed by myself and cry my eyes out. I have a pillow for comfort not a person. Never had and never will. So my suicide may be selfish but I am all I have.