Hello,

I am sorry you are dealing with such terrible anxiety in general and over your health. Are you seeing a therapist for help with that? Traumatic events can take over one's thoughts and mood but there is hope. A technique called EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprogramming) is very helpful for trauma. I worked with someone certified in this after a nerve injury and multiple operations. It made a big difference for me. She also used hypnosis which I found helpful. Whatever modality works for you, having someone dedicated to your emotional wellbeing is a real benefit.

On your physical health...if your doctor is willing to order the MRI scan and thinks it indicated by all means please go ahead. You do not know that you are going to die. There maybe something else going on. Even if you did have a brain tumor, there are different kinds. Some of them are benign but may cause symptoms through pressure. I have an acquaintance who had just such a thing and sailed through surgery 7 years ago with no recurrence. There are also treatment options out there now such as gamma knife that do not debilitate patients. You will not know what you're facing or know your options unless you get fully checked out. Until then, the Mom in me says getting drunk is not the best idea...

Take care of yourself and be brave, go forward. You are stronger than you know.