I have also had dark maddening phases where I've exercised to compulsion. Like, right after work, even though my brain has been fried already for 4 hours and my daughters are clamoring for attention, I'll still go run 3 miles at an 8 minute mile pace. No wonder I feel like I'm in a Salvador Dali film the rest of the evening and the next day, into perpetuity.
Honestly, the only people in the world that I can related to are the other brain injured folks I know in my community and the good folks on Neurotalk. Seriously, no one has a CLUE what PCS is until they experience it. And I have a textbook case. In fact, there are so many posts on here that could have appeared to be written by me at one point or another.
Why don't doctors know more about this condition? There is not one specialist in my town who really understands PCS. Sometimes I imagine that if I ever get through this hell, I'll get a Ph.D in Neuropsychology so at least I can help other people that are suffering through this unique and awful place.
Mark, thanks for your inspiring, kind words. You have no idea how much you have helped me. You have literally been a lifeline. I don't know if I would have survived the last 3 months without you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hermanator90
Seth,
I do feel guilt about my botched recovery too. It was a very weak hit from whiplash into a towel rack that gave me an initial concussion. I, like you read in my other note made it way worse by drinking and continuing to work and not rest for the first few months. I think guilt is sometimes hard to ignore, but we absolutely need to remember we were working on the information we had, and the innate risk threshold we possess.
As for exercise, I had been working out everyday for about two weeks while in my extremely dark and maddening phase. And I stopped for about 3 days, and after the rest had a day of immense clarity. I worked out on the day I felt clear, and immediately felt worse. I know the example is perhaps too specific to be helpful, but I definitely felt it drained me to the extent that my brain could not use energy for healing. I am now back in my dark maddening phase unfortunately, hoping for another day of clarity that I could prolong, but have not worked out at all. The stop in working out has in this case not helped. But, I will keep you posted as I plan to make use of my gym again soon, and will let you know if fogginess returns.
Hang in there. Take strength from every friend that you can. That's whats getting me through this crap time. Best of luck to you!
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