Purple,

The holidays bring out the worst in families IMO. I despise them, because of unrealistic expectations and my own history of family dysfunction. My dad had undiagnosed PTSD, which was violently manifested during holidays. At the end of his life when I charted his WWII battles they dovetailed exactly with Thanksgiving and Christmas.

My mother, a narcissist, would rile my father up, making every family gathering a replay of the last. Nightmare is the best word to describe my life. I believe I am in a constant state of high alert from the family insanity I endured and tried to unsuccessful fix for 6 decades. I wonder if it contributed to contracting CRPS.

I suspect your mother cuts people out of her life to punish them, because they would not do her bidding. Off with their heads.