Hi Ravenclaw,

I believe you should try to find it in yourself to put this subject up for discussion - with a qualified Therapist. Having my list of ailments and level of pain I was at my lowest in 2012, driven by my Depressive Personality Disorder.

Despite being closed off and introverted, I recognised the danger to myself and sought help from my GP, who arranged emergency Counselling. It got me through the darkest times and made me think more clearly and rationally. Things with my Therapist did go wrong after my Cancer dx, but by then my mindset had been changed.

There is a depressive mental effect from thinking about suicide the way you are doing. It can lead to more damaging thoughts.

Dave.