ok, i see now. it makes sense and of course you must go along with whatever the comp program indicates, but here's what i would like to suggest to them. you will need retraining. sailing is all you've ever known, and you were top-notch at that gig i'll bet. so they need to send you back to school and they need to pay for it. if i were you, i'd think back to maybe my childhood dreams; what did they look like? what did you want to be when you "grew up"? because this could be that rare opportunity, mucker, and given the right perspective... that's exactly the spin you should put on it. i of course don't know your educational background but i do know of at least one other person in your province who is a comp case and who was able to return to school to start educating herself in a whole other area, with an eye to increasing her marketability due to TOS having severely limited her ability to do the very physical job she was in before. so take heart. you can and will turn this into a positive; i know you will.

and you know what? they are absolutely right when they say that our self esteem is tied up in our work ethic. i believe that. speaking for myself here, i must say that i find myself still grieving over the loss of my career and it's been over 4 years since i haven't been able to work full-time because the TOS finally got so bad. but i managed to work with raging TOS for many, many years, so i don't mean to discourage anyone who chooses to keep working at something they love, from doing so. it's a matter of personal choice to some extent. (mine was a corporate job - i obviously could not have kept up a job like yours!... no freakin' way, mucker! but there have been studies done which show that if you know you have something to return to, you will heal faster. nothing wrong with that whatsoever (and i don't want anyone reading to take this the wrong way... please!).

there are a lot of options for you to explore, no matter what you end up doing, to aid you from an ergonomic standpoint, and perhaps a good deal of it would be reimbursable even, i don't know. voice-activated software, for one thing, is a BIG help to many on here. then let's say you were to go back to university. in the US it's called office for students with disabilities, but whatever the canadian equivalent is, would have to provide you with things like: longer periods of time for exam-taking; lecture notes; lower per-term courseload; right to tape lectures, etc., etc. all as dictated by statute and then some! there is a long-time forum member named dimarie who went back for more than one advanced degree and i'm sure she will share tons of ideas with you. di is an extremely generous soul - use the advanced search function to pull up her threads and you will no doubt hit the motherlode, mucker (she uses voice-activated software, though, so pay no mind to the speak-o's, haha).

OK. is dr. belems your surgeon? because if so, i'm resting a little easier; he IS the go-to guy up there in nowhereland (kidding! i'm kidding! you know we americans have no concept of canada). but please, please tell us you misspoke when you said he was only going to take PART of your first rib, mucker. this makes no sense. he has got to take the entire first rib for it to be a successful TOS surgery (or there's a chance it could grow back), and of course in order to get that rib out he's got to partially resect both the anterior and the middle scalene muscles, because they are anatomically attached to the first thoracic rib. is that what you meant? please clarify that point because i have TOS and i will obsess ENDLESSLY if you don't...

here's the bottom line. i know you're going to be OK. we have several other canucks on this forum and hopefully when they see your thread JAMY, CINDYJ, RACHAEL and/or GIBBRN will contact you tout de suite ma cherie as those 3 in particular i believe know who the good guys are in ontario, if not nova scotia - and whom to stay the F away from, too (docs, PT's, bodyworkers, masseures, the whole 9)! the lawyer thing, i don't know about so much in canada but if you can talk to your fellow countrymen about that too it couldn't hurt. find someone to at least do an initial consult with you, though, if things keep going the way they have been, because from the sound of it you are getting railroaded and that ain't right. best case scenario yes, legal fees/expenses come out of the award or settlement at the end of the case, but even if you HAD to come up with a couple/few hundred dollars to PROTECT YOURSELF at this juncture... wouldn't it be worth it just to sleep at night? (pretty sure you can find a first consult for gratis, though...) it is your life and your future we are talking about. i think rachael ended up having a powow with somebody now that i think about it; maybe she could give you his name and #. god, i'm nosy i'm lovable, though. shelley said so!!

you have lots of courage, and are way stronger than most people and, i daresay than most men (sorry, boyz, don't mean to offend any of you but sailing is tough stuff!). but boy do i know how hard it is to ask for help. that was agonizing for me as well. still is. can anybody lend me $5.00?

but mucker, help is right here. we are right here.
so hang in there; the sky is blue, the sun is shining and the ship's afloat!!!

alison