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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 905
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Update on me
Dang....has it almost been 2 months since I lost him ?
I had to take my mom to the dr yesterday and as we sat in the room waiting for the dr I was looking around and bam.....it hit....just like y'all said it would. It brought back ICU front and center.
I also didn't realize that the shots for my back on Oct 30th is the 2 month mark too. If he was here he would have been taking me. And being sweet and looking after me when we got home.
And I know I am extremely Blessed to have my family surrounding me. I read posts all the time of families in peril and it makes my heart hurt.
Me and Luke had a falling out last year in June....I didn't see or speak to him on the phone for 3 months. I actually think it was Aug 30th when I went over to his house. Weird right ? But I had gone through chemo and was facing this ugly SFN monster so I was stronger than ever mentally and stood my ground. He had to come back on his own. Prior to chemo and SFN I would have crawled up in my recliner and cried everyday....not anymore. I did sent him a text about once a week during that time and just said I Love You and he would come back immediately and say the same thing. Bubba would go over and visit with him as he was not as mad at his dad as he was with me and Christina. By Thanksgiving we were all back together. It was his decision to come back into the family.
My mom's dementia is getting worse. She's making some type of humming sound now as she walks around or when we're eating. I've look it up and it goes along with dementia. She knows she's doing it but doesn't know why. She is the first person I've met that acknowledges she has a mental issue and it really bothers her. My mother-in-law and father-in-law never mentioned it. She's in awesome shape physically for 84 and the nurse is visiting her every week.
Taylor, her RN, said they've talked about my mom's addition onto our house and how much they love it and wish other seniors had the same thing. She said I would be shocked at how some of these seniors live and what they live in. That is so sad to me.
I miss my Bubba so much and still walk around the house talking to him and at him for he resides on top of the entertainment center. No way I can bury him now. He's going with me when I go and that gives me comfort. I am going to put a headstone up in our family plot for I know his extended family needs a place to go for comfort. Most of them will not know he's not 'there' and that's fine.
I would like to remind everyone that our marriage wasn't perfect. We had some very good times and some very bad times. But in hind sight I sure wish I had let more little things slide. Wish I had hugged him more, wish I had told him I loved him more. Please everyone take my advise and let your partner know how you truly feel. I didn't know Bubba's true feelings for me until 3 months before his death. How sad is that ? Very 
Thanks to all who read this and send me messages and posts of comfort. I could not have gotten through these past 2 months without y'all.
Big hugs to everyone ! 
Debi from Georgia
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