Denise,
The emotional pain you are dealing with is enormous. I believe that stifling this pain with a veneer of positivity is not healthy. I truly believe griping and wallowing a bit, is smart emotional housecleaning. A loud scream into your pillow is wonderful therapy and having a good cry releases chemicals in your tears-the former is a scientific fact. Think of crying as a form of detoxification.

One of the most "positive" people I know is a cauldron of suppressed anger, which manifests itself in rude behavior that seems innocuous, but is IMO rage leakage. I gave up on her when she chided me for being down when I could not walk, was suffering from excruciating, unremitting CRPS pain, along with an antibiotic nightmare which exacerbated a digestive disorder and simultaneously I was trying to digest the news I had a brain aneurysm which needed surgery. I had pain induced insomnia, could not eat...

Once I got through the stomach issues using holistic products only then was I able to think rationally, because some pain abated and I could nap. The naps gave me enough energy to clean myself with baby wipes and brush my hair. I devoted time everyday to massaging DMSO on to my feet and legs while talking to them. I also allowed myself time to cry and scream when I was alone. It helps.