Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for what I am to receive today

It has been such a long time
My blessings alway recognized
Never appreciated
As this horrible pain I suffer
Hands and feet beyond
out if control
Dropping anything I touch

This month at my pain specialest
Was told
The pain is so great in the morning
I do not want to be alive
I explained to the best of my ability
He introduced in my morning regimen
One 5mg oxycodone
with what I already take
It has made a world of a difference
What a conundrum should I be in
To have had addiction in my life
And I am on Meds that are wanted on the streets
God help them
It kills to be in doctors care and not
be able to not have to take Meds that kill my pain
It is just a mask
And without it now I would die
How can this be Father
How can I keep going
Pushing forward
So I just don't lay like a dog and just die
Even a dog at its time looks for their companion
This I know I have a dog
Whom I miss dearly
In the care of my daughter
When can I have someone to love
and love me back
In Jesus name I ask
My children have lives and loves of their own
I gave up the idea of the trial and error in establishing a relationship
yet I really am ready for a special someone
Let me not have love in my life and to die
never having that
Today the edge is off
I don't know what tomorrow will bring
This much I know
My desire to want your blessing
and to feel your Spirit
Is my first desire
Dear Father
Blessings I wish this community knows how much
support I am given to not give up
I will honor you Father
In Jesus name
In You I trust
Love
Me