Ada,

I too am one of those people who "look" normal (although I do use a cane to assist in walking outside my home). People constantly tell me that I don't look like I've ever had a sick day! The problem is that they don't see the real me. I only wish that they were right! I clean up nicely but the RSD monster still rages on the inside.

As you stated, I was a highly motivated person pre-RSD, active in my work, church, community, and volunteering. In a period of two years from 2002 to 2004, I became a totally different person as RSD - then fibro ravaged my body following lumbar disc surgery. All of a sudden even the things that I loved lost out. Motivation turned into desperation as I realized that I did not want to participate in fun things much less the things that are tasks. "This can't happen to me I am in control," I thought. Sadly, that was and is not true in my new reality. Fortunately, a solid support system and good medical team kept me from bottoming out and feeling hopeless. In my opinion, however, there is no way to suffer from moderate to high level pain for an extended time and not battle some form of anxiety or depression in the long run.

I won't even mention the fatigue and pain issues related to certain weather conditions. So many factors play into what kind of days we have and the main frustration is that we have no control over many of them.

Being a 50 year old, husband, father, and grandfather, I try to focus on "today" and making it through without excess pain. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Excellent thread Ada!

Best regards,