Hi Mark,

Currently I am not doing any work. I was working till September 13th but took leave from work because I felt extremely awkward interacting with colleagues. Friends and co-workers who had known me for months tell me they don't see me when they look into my eyes.

I think this leads well into the question of what I am doing when I am trying to unsuccessfully think. The best way I can explain is that when healthy we have say x% of social awareness of your self and how to relate to people. The higher your ability to connect with different types of people, the larger that x%. Of course that grows based on experience and your ability to learn as well. But, at any given time, you have a given amount of that understanding.

When I am unsuccessfully trying to think, I essentially mean that this bank of awareness that I can normally easily tap into seems blocked off. It literally feels blocked from access. The harder I try to reach and think, the more my head hurts but I am just unable to access it. In the days that I have felt that clarity that I described, I feel this thinking is no longer blocked. That is all.

So currently in this chaos when I look into someone's eyes, I don't understand and can't maintain the eye contact because within myself I can't think or relate that way. I am not talking about making eye contact with strangers. I am talking about people I have known all my life - my sister, my mom, my best friend, the girl I was dating before I got hurt (Alas!).

I definitely could use more activity. That is the primary focus in the coming days. I had been resting because as I understood from my neurologist exercise after a concussion is detrimental because your brain needs energy to heal. I suppose light exercise is important to get the blood flowing as you explained. So, will definitely plan to get started on that right away by taking long walks everyday.