Oh how upset my eldest has me
It has been since February so much time gone by
without my oldest in my life
We always were so very close
And always extreamly supportive in whatever she did

A beautiful person I would tell people
I would say things such as
"There needs to be more Sara's such like my daughter
and the world would be a better place
I have done nothing to deserve the cold rude shoulder
from her
Especially my oldest
And that special connection began to fall apart with
her and her lazy husband who was worthless for over two years
and lost their apartment his car his license because he lost his job
Lazy I cannot swallow
My daughter also a SSD receipent
was taking care of themselves
My daughter would come to me for help
on many occasions
done to getting her bras and underwares
This while in her thirties
Now did I have the money to do that
Absolutely not
When I got sick
I was on medical leave with no pay
Nothing ever hidden from my children
Except for one thing
We are poor with money
and I always proud at how I would make double
payments on my four plastic cards I own
I cannot make the double payments on my credit card bills

On a average I still meet my obligations
Much of it are purchases for my children
dressing Sara in her thirties while her husband
sat around and took a break for two years
I took care of my daughter from soup to nuts
clothed her and she
knows how mommy would always get them something
What is bugging the turd out of me
He now landed a $60,000 starting pay
He is now capable in many ways to step up and pay up
Reminder: I was asked last year through my daughter
if he could make a purchase on my dell account
For Christmas gifts four dell tablets one WAS suppose
To be for me never happened
This the newest addition to my financial troubles
And things will get tougher when Corissa turns 18
Jesus I leave what I cannot do in Your hands
Between my two eldest children I am owed over five grand
And I struggle payout my debts
They are mine and I have been paying minimum while I was on leave no pay
Took from disability to pay my obligations
Only now my municipal sweet job with excellent benifits
GONE
It will come to one day where I can no longer pay my obligations
Credit cards will be the first I stop paying
Taking off full coverage on my still to owe thirty five hundred
for the car that was keyed fighting for a handy cap parking

Any how estranged since February no resolve

They now have their beautiful apartment to find out my dog
has his own room makes me happy

She is sending out invitations ou for thanksgiving
I know my daughter
She wants what she wants
With good intentions I am sure
Only what happened with my daughter be addressed
I am expected to put things aside and sit at her table
while no amends are made
I cannot be fake
And fake my way through thanksgiving dinner

Will submit and come back and finish my thoughts
Love
Me
Sad