I'm not a doctor and only know what I have experienced first hand but what you're describing sounds normal.

It might just be your body's way of protecting itself. I know I was very "held together" at my husband's visitation and funeral but once I was home and alone it all came out.

I'm the type of person that doesn't want the focus or attention on me so I tend to be quiet during events with lots of people. But once alone......it all comes out. It's like a release valve has been activated.

Don't worry about how you will react. Everyone is different and everyone reacts in their own personal way. No right or wrong here.

And please accept my condolences. It's never easy even when we know it's imminent.