Hi Ravenclaw

As DejaVu said your detachment is a means of self-protection and it's what you need right now.

Also with knowing your husband was terminally ill you will have done a lot of grieving before he actually passed. My mother passed suddenly, unexpectedly and I was overseas when I found out she was ill - I arrived home 3hrs too late - the grief was immense and I literally shut down for 6 mths. My father was the opposite with a prolonged, deteriorating condition and much of the grieving was done during the time spent with him. When he passed it was more of a release because he was finally free from pain.

Know that whatever you are going through time will heal and although you will miss him forever the memories of the great times you shared will replace the sad ones.

Wishing you peaceful days ahead. Take care - bluesfan