My aunt arrived in Florida yesterday to be with my cousin. I'm not pressing for details, I don't want to be intrusive. My aunt isn't a phone person, so I'm just sending messages of love and support.

I called my father yesterday to make sure he had heard the news because my family is a mess... this one talks to that one, but that one won't talk to the other one... To be honest, I won't talk to 2 of them. Any way, I'm glad I called because he got mixed up and thought my cousin died. My dad is not right in the head.

I'm having a hard time right now because I keep thinking about what my cousin must have gone through, and must be going through right now. I keep imagining what I would do in his place if my husband died in front of me, I pretty much walked away, and had to live without him. But I know exactly what I would do. But my cousin is made from much sturdier stock. I can only keep praying for him and the families.

I had an appointment with my neurologist yesterday as a follow up because of my recent relapse. I'm well aware of the increase in pain that remains, but I guess my foot drop is worse. I just thought my gait was different because of the weight difference in switching from sandals to sneakers. It's disappointing. We're still on the same page as far as meds. I'm not taking anything for the MS. I'm on enough meds as it is. I forgot to mention several significant things while I was there. They will have to wait until the next follow up in 3mo.

Things are starting to stack up on me between Jeff and Dawn's accident, something I'm keeping to myself, the license business, and the fact that I'm very worried about a friend of mine.

I'm hoping that this is all situational but: I'm not cooking every night as I usually do, I'm sleeping less, taking naps, my anxiety has been very high, and I'm feeling sad.
When I saw pdoc last week, she said that my reactions are appropriate given the events going on in my life, but it bears watching. The last time I experienced depression I was snowed on a ton of meds. I don't know what to expect in my current situation, but given my susceptibility to hypo/mania I want to make damn sure this is a real depressive episode before my drugs are tweaked or an antidepressant is added to the mix.

I'll be monitoring this very closely, just like I was doing with the hypo/mania. It hasn't been going on for very long, but if new sx appear or this lasts much longer, I'll get in touch with pdoc for intervention.

I'm going to take Bizi's suggestion and set aside an hour today to do some ROM exercises and stretch. I hope it will help ease my anxiety and help me relax.