Dear Lara

You got it right
All this time going to my oncologist
And because my gynecologist was busy
delivering babies
I still haven't gotten my pap
I never missed my yearly until know
What a pain is right
And my oncologist asked for a sonogram of my balloons
They are stupid and useless
I regret going with my gut
and not having any implants
It was such a botched job
My left has what is called a double bubble
My right one however the one that had the cancer
It still knocks the wind out of me when I talk about it
Know body was listening to me
I kept telling any and all doctors of the pain under my arm pit
My daughter Corissa calls them underpits since she was a baby
But nobody was listening
Until the sonogram and it was a good friend who came with me
The radiologist came in to tell me it is the bag used to make
my chest look like breasts
How far off mine are
You also hear me
I am sooooooo tired of going to doctors
What's the point
How did I know I would be so unlucky with some of the doctors
And please believe me I did my homework

To answer your questions
I will always feel that pain
from the bag
Not my muscle not my skin of the right being so tight
not the rawness of the surgery
I would need surgery
And I have said to the breast augmentation doctor
this will be my last consensual surgery
Never again go go under
I feel if I go under again I will not come out

The surgery was to be three hours long
My breast surgery was six hours long
And I believe there may have been issues
I am on heavy opioids and smoke canabis
Not ashamed to share it helps me that's all that matters
And before going under I spoke with my anesthesiologist
AND ADVISED HIM OF ALL MEDICATIONS ONES I REACT TO ALSO
I BEGGED HIM PLEASE I HAVE A FAMILY
WATCH OVER ME
I COME OUT OF IT HORRIBLY
and this be my experience with my
"Underpits"
Thank you for your interest in my journey
I am sure you can see
This place has my first live journal
When stumbling upon this place
I was doing research on my problems
It is my saving grace
It just spiraled out of control
I learned how to use the computer
coming on to neurotalk
And to encounter such wonderful people
who know exactly how I feel in my problems
not only with my health
even more importantly being able to talk about my father
And suidide
My breast cancer
Alcohol addicition (mine)
Drug addicition two of my children suffer with
The dynamics of my family
All the amazing people ready to keep me afloat
I say thank you for caring and sharing
My your holidays bring you special joys for the holidays
I am going to try my hardest to give my granddaughter
and daughter a happy time
God Bless
Love
Me