Thanks for still replying.

Last few days I feel empty. I live, but I'm like a robot. Everything around me, bad, good, happy, horrible, it doesn't reach me. I wake up, go to bed, and do stuff in between. Not even sure what, I feel so very empty.

It's not suicidal, but more the numb I don't care.
Though it is a bit of a dissapointment waking up in the morning.
You'd think with a weak body and a bleeding heart, you would just die in your sleep. But no, I have to go on. I don't know what for, with him I still had some kind of purpose in live, be it very little. But now I just lay here every day, waiting for the day to pass. You know when you are so extremely exhausted, but simply can't sleep?

I do lit candles for him. Makes me feel like I'm doing something.