i just found out my eldest is in the hospital
kidney stones
i am that much removed from her life
it's always one of the golden rules
when that be the case one of us is in the
hospital we all know about "it"
now just because i will not allow my daughters
last performance speak for itself
those who follow know what i speak of
never did i ever think she would allow
anything come between us that way
but the truth of the matter
i was wrong
this i did not teach them
for me to handle all that continue
to be the cause of my "cup" runneth continuously
this is not a case monkey see monkey do
how dare i not know
what and she have a case that i won't even write
or verbalize
you just don't do that to one who already went through
a unnecessary unfortunate for him
(my father who choose a permanent way out)
suicide there are some words i just don't
like saying
suicide is like saying puss pimple
just to name a couple
what is she thinking
i understand her coming into her own
"Gloria Steinem" or "Jane Fonda" for that matter
maybe not the best choices of women
though i think you can picture her burning her bra
i get it
what does that have to do with
a possible accident while her husband i want to punch
his blanking lights out
oh God i am so angry
so much out of my control
and not even in the context my child is reading me
i know i am only in control of me
even that is limited
i believe in God
Jesus Christ
Mother Mary
can you please hear me
sometimes
i just beg my father
if it be the least he do while not on this earth
please watch over my babies
oh my dog
my father and his companion
our dog growing up i am sure they are united
what is my daughter thinking
why does it not run through my children
i taught them to be happy love what you do
do not hurt one another
it seems to have gotten lost
with no reason to return
i am heartbroken
me