Hi Lessa,
Some of us use topical magnesium and/or topical medications.
Magnesium -
Many of us use Morton's Epsom Lotion. (Magnesium Sulfate)
Some use magnesium chloride. I have used both and am having the best luck right now with topical pure magnesium chloride, made by Life-Flo.
Life-Flo Pure Magnesium chloride:
http://www.life-flo.com/magnesium/magnesium-oil.html
Life-Flo makes other magnesium chloride products as well:
http://www.life-flo.com/magnesium.html
While these links show the products, the best prices can be found via an online search from various distributors.
I love the topical pure magnesium chloride. I get so much relief from pain, from spasms with this. I can sleep through the night, most nights, since adding this in to my daily regimen. I use it on my lower legs and feet 2-3 times a day. I do the longest foot massage with this in the evening.
As for topical medications:
Lidocaine - Avail by prescription at higher dose. Available OTC at 4% and marketed by Aspercreme brand. (Other brands are available, yet I have found them to be extremely expensive, while not superior to the Aspercreme brand of lidocaine. There is no Aspercreme in this, by the way.)
Compounding pharmacists can mix topicals according to a prescription.
This often includes drugs like: gabapentin, clonidine, ketamine, flexeril,
carisoprodol (Soma), DMSO, ketoprofen, bupivacaine (Marcaine), lidocaine, etc. I know I am forgetting some.
Here's a thread touching upon topical meds.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread227525.html
I hope this helps. Please do ask any questions.
My best to you and to your wife.

DejaVu