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Old 11-18-2015, 11:11 AM  
Kendyll
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4
Unhappy That's not quite it

Unfortunately, this is not my aging father (who passed away a couple of years ago).
This is my husband I'm talking about.

As far as the Dissociative Identity goes, I really am not qualified to clinically diagnose it. I do know that, for years, I speak to differentiated ego states, with different names and personalities. Over time, they've all agreed to work as a team, and they come out individually less and less. At this point, I only "see" anyone in times of crisis, and they've all understood for years now that I'm here to help and I'm on their side. It's much better than it used to be (but it's still there). I know there was abuse and dysfunction all over his family growing up, and I know that he carries mental and physical scars from that.

Many, many days, my husband is a fully functional, capable adult. He has been able to hold a job, and when he hasn't been employed, he takes very good care of the house and our family.

That's what makes the bad days so very difficult. They happen most often when he is over-tired, or when he doesn't eat enough, or when he allows himself to worry about things he can't control. Physical or mental stress just seems to overload his circuitry, and he can't function. When I can be with him (weekends) I can help to make sure he stays on track, and keep him grounded, but when I'm at work, I can't help with anything until I get home (by which time it's usually too late to head anything off)

I don't think an assisted-care facility is the right answer, considering his normal level of functioning. We are starting to talk about a crisis plan - what to do when he does have the next breakdown. I'm not against temporary hospitalization, but it does leave a bad taste in my mouth. But when it comes to his children, is it better for them to see their Dad having a breakdown, or getting carted off in a straightjacket?

This would still be easier if he would take this all seriously and follow through on getting help. He's not really able to understand...just because he's better right now doesn't mean that it can't get bad again. Kind of akin to the people who quit taking their psych meds because they feel better...He doesn't understand that he needs treatment during the good times to prevent the bad times. I can encourage, but I can't push or nag. That gets me nowhere, and it gets me on his bad side. I see us as a team. He can't always grasp that idea.
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"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (11-18-2015)