The vein that blew in my toe
This isn't the first time this has happened
It is however the first time on my foot
Most time it would be my hands
This scares me
Pain specialest said go to hematologist
He does not know why the bruises happen
Asked if I was still taking my Meds of tamoxifen
My chemo in a pill
There is a good picture in the camara where my
hand thumb area on inside of hand
As the pain starts to begin a piercing one will slowly heighten
then the surrounding veins begin to fill with blood and swell
I swear like something out of a horror movie
Thank goodness my daughter Corissa was home
It too frightened her
Then a feeling of a popping
Like a pimple would come to a head and bam pop and release
After that happens the whole area I experience the pain becomes
a huge bruise
If I wouldn't have taken pictures
And the perplexed look of my doctors face when viewing
my big toe
But the best was in the camara picture of my hand and thumb
This now my new fear
I ask the words I did not want to write down in words or even
verbalize
"Can I throw a clot"
Answer
"There is a chance"
"You need to see a hematologist"
Oooooookay
What now
What the fudge else is going on
Why are my veins swelling with blood and just burst
Can anyone understand
Why this body does not want to feel anymore
I don't want to die sick and young
If it is this be Gods plan
I don't know what to say
There has always been bad circulation in the family
Ironically an Aquarius will suffer leg and feet problems
The star are so far yet so close
You know what I mean
The agony to start the day again
I have been following the Discovery Channel
There is a family of nine that includes mom and pop
The are call the Brown family
Living the Bush life
Found land in Alaska
A family so close in the Spirit of love
Five boys two girls
Well ironically two nights ago
a new season show is on
Mom is emergency vac with the film crew there
Diagnosis crushing deteriorating veterbre
Her entire spine degenerative
Her chief complaint neck
I watched her and sobbed like a baby
Because of such a hard life on the body
It is now breaking me down I feel beaten down
Is it in me to fight in the start of my day
I try real hard not to stop doing what I love
But I always comes with a price
This too I understand
Wh what a way to live


Will post some more later Meds kicking in
Going to TRY and get some much needed sleep
I retired in about three in the morning
And up at seven
Love
Me

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