Want to know how I lost weight?? Very simple. I did it for the right reason. Not to go to a wedding, (like we all do when we have to lose 20 lbs to fit into a certain dress). Not for money (like my girlfriend's daughter who weighed 350 and her grandfather told her, "if you lose weight, I'll pay you $1000 for every 100 lbs you lose). Of course she lost it, and I told my girlfriend, "she will gain it back and more" and my friend said "why on earth, if she lost all that weight, will she gain it back?" and my response was....

"she lost it for the wrong reason".

Sure enought, she now weighs 550 lbs and she's not even 30 years old.

I self medicated with food all my life. It was my drug of choice. Didn't do drugs, didn't drink, didn't smoke, SO I ATE!! And I was a night eater. I would just plop in front of the tv and take the chips and the dips and the peanut butter and the big glass of ice cold SKIM milk and the cupcakes. Probably medicated my brain so bad, I was numb. And fat people never look at their bodies, they just don't because it's not real to them. What is real is how the food fuels your brain. Must kick out endorphins or something.

So of course, over the years, I yo-yo dieted. Very bad. When I was 24, I lost 87 lbs in 5 months taking amphetamines. You should have seen me at 24. I looked like Elizabeth Taylor. But I had no self esteem because when you've been fat and in 5 months you have a great body, well you are not used to having a great body. So I might have had a great body and looked good but my mind was still in fat mode. So after the first heartbreak with a man, I ate myself silly.

So I married, had Frank (big story there, adding lots of stress) and I ate and ate and ballooned up to 300 lbs. Alan was no small fry either. I cooked and I cooked. And I became a diabetic.

So one day about 5 years ago, Alan and I went to a nutritionist who told me one thing. Fat people don't eat because they are hungry, they eat because they are depressed and they are eating to make their brain feel better.

So we devised a good plan, low-fat, low carb, nothing with refined sugar, no snacking at nights, no more ice cream, no more chips, no more dips, adding fresh fruit and lots of veggies and easy on the dressing. Common sense stuff. Also I started to walk. And with arthritis, it's not easy.

But the big thing, the thing that made me stop the night time eating was when a good friend of mine developed Stage 3 lung cancer. I made a vow that as long as she lived and dealt with what she was dealing with, that I would never eat after dinner time. Now this means that if I eat dinner at 5 p.m. I don't eat anything after that. And if I eat dinner, lets's ay at 8 p.m. (very rarely will that happen), well then that's it. I checked with Cornell, just to make sure that because I'm a diabetic I can do this. They checked my numbers, they saw that I don't dip in the evening, so (in my case), it's perfectly okay to do this. I've been doing this for almost 2 years now. I simply stopped with the nighttime munchy thing. Most of my friends can't do that. They have to eat nuts, or candy, or chips, or drink a marguerita, or something. It's what they have been used to. It becomes a habit. And we are all creatures of habit. Many diabetics must eat something at night. Thankfully, I don't have to do this.

I simply changed one bad habit (nighttime munching). For me, it takes a long long time to lose weight. I'm almost 60, diabetic and my metabolism is not that of a 20 year old. But I made the vow and I'm sticking to it.

I've been doing this for so long, I got into the habit of NOT eating at night, so when my girlfriend is at the end of her battle (and it's happening soon), I won't go back to night time binging because my diabetes is under control, I can wear stuff I never wore in my life, and I don't want to weigh 300 lbs anymore. See, I changed the way I think. Not easy to do, but I did it.

And Alan did it too!!! He now weighs 200 lbs. A far cry from the 275 he used to weigh. Takes lots of discipline.

I watch the Discovery Channel all the time, with the 600 lb people and the 800 lb people. Someone is bringing food to these people, they are not leaving the house and buying the stuff. And you have to eat (and not move) to be 800 lbs.

You just dont arrive at that number over night. So I didn't get to be 300 lbs overnight and in time, I'll get down to my 150. I look my best at around 157.
Don't know if I'll ever reach that number. You should see them at Cornell when I get on the scale and I won't let them tell me what I weight. They start screaming "you lost 5 lbs". Now what the hell is 5 lbs on my body?? my right toe??. But they laugh, and I laugh and I don't really think about putting that junk in my body anymore.

It's fish, veggies, salads, and a splash of extra virgin olive oil. And you should see what I put in my salads. I put in tomatoes, some sliced black olives, some oregano, some romaine lettuce, some fresh basil, some lemon juice, and a splash of the extra virgin olive oil. Oh, I use my vidalia chopper and I put in raw veggies in the salad. Absolutely delicious and very filling.

Oh, I started something new today. I don't like to eat lunch. I'm not hungry at 1 p.m. and I forget to eat. But I can't forget to eat because I'm diabetic.

So I have this protein powder from GNC in the house. I make it for Alan all the time. I said "why not have a shake for lunch? it's 20 grams of protein, no added sugar, what could it hurt". It tasted like a chocolate malted and two hours later my sugar was 115. So it's a no-brainer. I'll have this for lunch during the summer.

Maybe I'll even lose 2 more lbs. Now wouldn't that be a hoot!!!

So to all of you struggling with your weight and nighttime munchies. Believe me, I did this for most of my life. You Can change the way you think.
You have to lose weight for You. Not for a wedding, or a dress, or anything else.

It's a way of life, and now it's my way of life.

Wish I had the brains at 30 that I do now. Probably would not have developed Type 2 diabetes and gotten neuropathy!!

Oh well, we learn as we grow old.

Melody