It's my therapist. And it's VERY GOOD TIMING...

My father called me a couple of hours ago out of the blue and asked if he could come over. I said yes.

It was awkward. There was some light conversation. It got heavier when he talked about his financial troubles. And then he hit me with "I came to say goodbye, I'm not coming back." He has no immediate health threats but has been in a deep depression for months. I asked him if he was planning to do something to himself and he hung his head.

I said what one would normally say in this situation, but I have more obviously have more input. I told him I had to relive what I did everyday, but I got a second chance and now that my meds were straight I feel better than I have in over 10yrs. He just needs to ask for help and he can feel better soon, too.

The conversation obviously went further, but he eventually dismissed the topic. I forgot to ask if he had a plan.

I'm in a unique position because his wife and I hate each other. If I call her and tell her or leave her a message about what he said, she won't believe me, will call me crazy, and God knows what else. If I relay the information to someone else the result will be the same because I'm still the source of the information.

My father used to own a gun. Then he got rid of it. But I think he bought a new one later. I sent a text to my brother (who I don't talk to) asking if, to his knowledge, my dad still has a gun. I'm waiting to hear back. He may not answer me.

I told my good aunt. But he doesn't speak to her. Neither does his wife. I could tell the bad aunt, but she would make a mess of things by getting hysterical.

My dad may have been being melodramatic, but I have to take this seriously. I think I'm going to have to suck it up and call his ***** wife or tell the bad aunt.
Maybe he's having a problem dealing with the guilt of last year's events. I don't know.

I'm obviously going to have to talk this out with my therapist today.