But hey Jarrett:

You did lose!!! So give yourself a big pat for that. It's hard, I know.

A few years ago, (when my son was diagnosed with Aspergers, became a compulsive gambler, and talked about suicide, every five minutes), well I just about lost my mind. My primary care physician (not Dr. Fred, he's my new guy), but my former one, told me "Melody, I can give you zoloft, you need to be on something, you can't do this by yourself". So I said 'okay, why not?" He gave it to me for about a little less than a year. I would go every month for my diabetes checkup (even thought I was also going to Cornell), and he would give me a month's supply of zoloft. First he gave me the starter kit, then I went up to 100 a day.

I will never forget how zoloft made me feel. It was like, for example, somone would tell you, "oh, did you know Junie passed away??" and you would go "Oh really??? Awwwwwwww!!!!" Like nothing fazed me. I walked around in a fog all that time. And I gained weight. My doctor never told me that you can gain wait from an anti-depressant. I googled "weight gain from zoloft" and it was all over the internet.

I told him. "Listen, I'd rather be depressed and not gain weight" than be Happy and fat!!! He started to laugh. We both laughed. So I started to slowly wean myself off and I've never taken an anti-depressant again. AND IF ANYBODY DESERVED TO TAKE AN ANTI-DEPRESSANT, BELIEVE ME, IT'S ME!!!! lol

So I bake muffins!!!!! I don't eat them. I just bake them for Alan and my neighbors. They're my anti-depressants!!! And Alan and I make each other laugh. He take zoloft. Really made a difference for him!!! No weight gain either. Not fair.

Melody