I am so grateful to my beloved. When we married, I took my vows seriously, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer etc. DB the same, here we are all these years later, many ups, many downs, but together nevertheless. Pooh to Alenon and those that say you can't help an alcoholic, help yourself and just leave. I get that, I so get they have to help themselves, but to just leave without trying to stay? What if he had left me in my shitty health debacles.

Even now I have some still say you should leave, and in the carers group, there are many who are in the process of leaving, surprisingly while their partner is now in recovery mode. I get love can die, but it can be rekindled. Marriage is a partnership of love and life, I'm not helpless in my love for DB, I'm grateful to my love for him, it helps make me a better person, to see and hear the emotional pain and trauma he went through and ultimately what drove him to "self medicate" is so understandable.

I'm rambling, I'm sorry, this journey is enlightening to us both and I'm in awe of his strength. Many in his group relapsed in the early days, Those in My group are warned and told be prepared for it, we are told there can be no denial, relapse is to be expected but, they say it doesn't have to be permanent. So long as they can commit to the long term program there is hope.

I'm hopeful and I'm in it for the long term, in sickness and in health.