I don't think I posted about this when it happened...I feel so bad about posting depressing things...but about a month and a half ago I fell off the top of a 10 foot ladder at work. I was pretty banged up...cuts, bruises, etc but no broken bones thank goodness. I was diagnosed after a week or so with a shoulder strain and a neck strain (my left shoulder). Treatment had been pretty conservative for a month or so...range of motion exercises, heat, and valium to help me sleep (which I only took if I didn't have to be up early for work or didn't go to bed too late because of work...so not that often).

Since the pain was still bothering me in my shoulder and neck, they prescribed physical therapy. I had physical therapy last year for my right shoulder when I strained it and it seemed to help so I was all for this. I generally think highly of physical therapy but because of the RSD I am always a little worried about it too because I've had good therapists and bad ones. This one...well...he seems like a very nice guy but the therapy was much too aggressive for me. One of the hardest things for me having RSD is that I am so used to just pushing through the pain every day to live a somewhat normal life that I forget that with other sorts of injuries you have to pay attention to increases in pain and stop what you are doing. So I didn't and it's my fault...but after Tuesday's PT session I ended up in so much pain I could barely see straight...ended up having to call off work.

I called the doctor right away and they got me in this morning...and took me off work through Friday. Now...I work retail...so this is a big issue for me. I am so angry about it...angry at myself for not knowing better, not speaking up when the pain levels started to go up, for putting myself in this position in the first place falling off that ladder. I feel so horrible for not being at work yesterday, today, and Friday (Black Friday...of all days)...so guilty. I feel like I have let everyone down at work and I try SO hard to not let them down, to carry my weight, and ever since I fell off that ladder I know I have not been doing well at work and I feel just torn apart about it.

I see the doctor again on Friday to see if I can go back to work Saturday. I hope I am better by then...I am honestly shocked by how badly this hurts and I have a pretty good tolerance for pain. They gave me tylenol with codeine and told me to take 2 pills every 4-6 hours. It helps...but the pain does start to come back after about 3.5 hours. I skipped a dose because I had to pick up my daughter from daycare and wanted to make sure it was out of my system by then. I'm just freaking out a little because the last time I had pain this bad it took over 6 months for the pain to really go away (and it still bothers me from time to time).

Ugh!! Sorry...just needed to vent a little bit about the whole situation. I try so hard to keep calm and collected but I'm really beating myself up about this whole situation. And I know I shouldn't...I didn't fall off the ladder on purpose after all...but I feel like I have let everyone down and it's eating away at me right now so I just needed to talk...