Understand, what I have done is make diary to explain my actions to my kids who, like other "normals" (non-TBI's are normals) really have no clue to the internal, unseen damage. I really do understand the ability to not focus enough to get much of anything written, done or to functions. When I had my last TBI clinic manager, he was telling me to turn my diary into a book that MIGHT, might not, help other TBI people. In truth I know nothing about PCS but it probably damage the brain and, to my damaged mind, that means not normal and another form of scrambled brains with no visible signs of damage understood by normals.

Without typing three hundred pages, the diary, to explain what I discovered, created, invented or stumbled into alone, on my own, that made serious improvements in my ability to function. Seven years post diving into the Severe TBI end of the pool, I live alone and work on the diary/book daily. For me, I ignore what other do such as when they eat, sleep and such since my modified brain has its own schedule. Now I wake at 9am and takes a week and caustic caffeine to start my mind, two hour, sometimes three the focus fades and I do things that do nor require a total brain. Then I nap because my mind needs or rather, demands rest with or without sleep. The brain comes back on line about 11PM till 1AM+/-.

What a normal might have written in six months, I have taken six years and I am finally in the last phase of finishing to the point of putting it for others. I personally believe that caregivers (family not medics paid) have as tough or tougher time that we tibbies in many ways and the diary/book explains my actions so other caregivers a clue and reduce their "normal" anger or frustration. For the last year I have largely ignored my body and concentrated on my brain and my mind, two connected but totally different things we TBI people deal with.
At a TBI group meeting last week, I tried to explain how the excercises given to me for walking (I got a amputation of lower left leg too) helped my walking, gate and such but the excercises did more for my mind and cleared out what I think of as a pool of darkness. The balancing excercises took me a little closer to my mind's normal light.
If this makes no sense, it is a first draft of a letter and I NEVER first draft anything with TBI since I have seen my mind lose focus and wander. How I learned to regain focus is too much to type but if you wish, I will send chapters of my diary/book as I do the last rewrite over the next six months.

You write back, if interested and I will not be offended if you do not as I have learned the my mangled mind confuses or angers others far more often that I would ever wish.

Gary Nelson